The ROOM OF SHAME...

Dear Friends,

Yesterday and today, I've been locked inside the "sewing room". Only God knows why it's called that...I don't sew in there. Neither do I cross stitch, quilt, crochet, knit, felt, needlepoint or do anything at all related to sewing in there. Mostly I throw stuff in there on the floor. Sometimes there's room on the table where the sewing machine is and it will make it there. If there were room on the bookshelf and it were a needlework book it would make it there. But room on the bookshelf ran out eons ago. So instead there's a pile of charts and books on the floor. So that is what my post is about today. The ROOM OF SHAME...

Let me take you on a little tour of my room. When it started out it was really lovely. (I SWEAR!) My husband saw it as a wonderful place (woman cave) for me to go and - um - I don't know WHAT he was thinking. You know, men have their room with all their tools and stuff? And they build things there? (I guess that's what they do.) I think he thought I would do the same. Well that's boring. How can I talk with him if I'm up there? So I just haul out my current project and plant my behind in my chair and talk or watch t.v. with him, right?

Back to the room. It has a HUGE Sauder armoire (one of those put it together yourself things) to the right when you walk in the door. In there I put all my quilting stuff. Yes, I used to quilt. I used to collect fat quarters. I think I thought I would make something of them. My favorite thing to do was applique quilt. Big surprise there, huh? Hand stitching has always been my favorite. I loved the quilting part. If it was machine piecing, forget it. My points never matched up. Somebody once told me it all comes out in the quilting. They lied. The bad thing about the armoire is that it's kind of dark in there so I can't see the fabrics. That's just as well though. I do NOT want to know what's in there any more. But soon I'll be clearing it out. I can't stand it. I have too much fabric. I started bringing it to work a while back and giving it to people to use for ornament and stand up backings. But that didn't make much of a dent.

To the right of that is a short black 2 drawer file cabinet. Hey when they're cheap you don't worry about matchy-matchy. I got it for free so that's cheap! In there are loads of old Brighton EGA newsletters - which I should probably toss, and personal writings - which I should probably toss! But I haven't in case I ever write my memoirs. HA HA, that's a huge joke. Well it is for me.

Next in the corner is an "antique" sewing machine. I bought it at an auction. It's in a cabinet. I'm ready to sell it because my mother-in-law gave me hers which is MUCH better looking and she actually used it! Then to the left of that and underneath the window is one of those 8 foot tables. My sewing machine actually DOES sit on this and I have been known to run a few seams on it. But it's been easier to bring in downstairs to the kitchen table because that's not filled up with "crap!" The 8" foot table seems to catch everything. The unfinished projects. The things I need to do something else on. The stuff I haven't put back yet - the floss, the beads, the tool somebody borrowed, the button box, the ribbon box, the perle cotton box, the box of fun threads, the spool of thread I didn't need, the Elizabeth Bradley kit I was working on, the punchneedle piece I meant to do for my sister last year...you know the stuff I mean, right?

Then on the left wall is a tall (white) cabinet with doors (thank God) where all the inactive cross stitch projects are hiding. One year I weeded out everything except those I'm really going to do. Ha. To the left of that is the tall bookshelf which surprisingly hasn't crashed to the floor yet. To the left of that is another white (hey this side of the room is matchy-matchy) doored cabinet hiding my shameful stash of yarn!

And on the fourth wall in the far corner is a closet which I cleaned out today (after I reached it, that is). I had NO IDEA I had stashed yarn in there too. Good thing Threadbear has a yarn garage sale yearly. Phew. What was I thinking? Of course it was about 10 years ago. You know, back when I had time to knit. :-) I found some cool things too though, like my Girl Scout sash with those badges you earned for completing something. I can't remember what they were for now but it looks pretty cool! And my elementary school stuff. And my high school stuff. And my 10 year high school reunion. We never had a 20 year. Or a 30 year. I guess I'm not the only Queen of Unfinished Projects. :-) Or they're all really afraid to see what everybody looks like. :-) Oh and my wedding stuff was in there too! So it's pretty much the "historical closet.

Then continuing down the left wall, we have a tiny 2 drawer dresser that has more quilting stuff in it - square blocks that haven't been made into quilts of course!

The reason I started this whole mess is because the Homestead Needle Arts Garage Sale is coming up and I thought I was going to put in some stuff this year. Well, I still am. I just didn't realize how much stuff I have that IS NOT needlepoint. What a shame. And that is why it's a Room of Shame...let alone all those unstarted and unfinished projects!

The Story of the Little Turtle

The Story of the Little Turtle by Yours Truly...

Once upon a time, a shopowner took her dog out back of the shop to play ball. In the midst of playing said ball, the shopowner discovered a very small (1-1/2" size shell) turtle on the concrete. The little guy wasn't moving and didn't even pull his little arms and legs in when he was picked up. By the shopowner not the dog.

So the shopowner and the dog went back inside the store with the Little Turtle. The shopowner took a small pink paper plate and put 2 tablespoons or so of water on it. She placed the Little Turtle half in the water and half out. She figured he was dehydrated. The Little Turtle didn't move for ...

quite...

some...

time.

When he began to move and attempted his first escape, the shopowner scooted his Little Turtle butt back onto the plate and then got a little plastic cup and put more water on the plate as it appeared some of the water was missing. Meanwhile she waited on customers.

Later when she turned around she found that the Little Turtle had managed to crawl off the plate, shinny down the legs of the table (okay, he might have hurtled himself off the table) and the likely turtle ran over to the Mill Hill bead wall, apparently looking for a good time - possibly a tight fitting bangle bracelet for his Little Turtle arms.

The shopowner thought to herself "Well! This won't do! I can't have a Little Turtle loose in the shop where an unknowing customer foot or a big golden retriever paw would do Little Turtle in!" So she found a very much LARGER plastic bowl with TALL sides, did the water trick again and put the Little Turtle in it. It just happened to be a heartshaped clear plastic bowl usually used for candy at the shop. (Yum. Little Turtle germs.)

After the work-a-day was over the environmentally sensitive naturalist (not nudist!) shopowner took the turtle for a ride in her Pontiac for 35 miles. She would have been happy to place the Little Turtle in a pond closer to his Grand Blanc habitat but not being a Grand Blanker(?), she had no idea where the nearest pond that she could access might be. She sure knew that there were 3 large ponds and a REALLY BIG LAKE near her home.

The crazy - um - Env. Sens. Nat. shopowner (see above) took a picture of the Little Turtle so she would always remember him (no really, she wanted to identify his type later), and let him out of the bowl gently into one of the large ponds near her home. (This is not the pond by the way - background was changed to protect Little Turtle from both fans and stalkers.)

The Little Turtle looked quizzically up at the shopowner as if to say "What? You're not going to make me into a tasty Little Turtle soup?" The shopowner said "Go Little Turtle. Go eat something and keep growing. Have a good life. Maybe come visit sometime. I like to look at turtles. And if you ever meet a hare racing for a good time, just remember you always win." So the Little Turtle walked out of the bowl into the leaves and the pond that was to become his new home until he decided to move again.

The End

P.S. No turtles, golden retrievers or customers were harmed in the writing of this story.

Needlepoint Stuff

Okay, who here wants to be the one to remind me to post every week? I really need somebody to remind me. And please don't tell me to pick a day and do it that day every week because I usually don't know what day it is. Really. I mean I know when it's Tuesday because I teach that day and I go to work after the weekend but other than that I usually don't know. I didn't used to be this way but the days blend into each other when you enjoy what you do. In fact sometimes people remind me it's Saturday and I'm supposed to leave the shop at 4:00. Really.

Would you like to see some pictures? Here's a few. I finished the April tree but only started the May one two nights ago. That's bad. After all, we're already a week into May.

Next, I finished a frog frame weight. I was ready to send him (her?) to the finisher when I thought maybe I should add some ruffles or a 3D cherry to the back. In real life it looks like somebody on LSD stitched this but I wanted it to be a very HAPPY frog. After all, it has to hold my stitching.

Next, this darling came back from the finisher JUST PERFECT! It's a tree topper and in between it's a very mini pillow. How cute is this?

That's all kids. Don't forget to remind me to post next week! Theresa

What Was Between My Legs Last Night

Isn't that a great title? :-)

Okay, here's the story and this is NOT an April Fool's Day joke. Star and I were on our daily walk. This is our second daily walk in a row! Having gone QUITE FAR (at least a mile) we were both pooped which is likely a good thing considering what happened next. We were homebound, a mere 3 houses from our abode when SUDDENLY ...

Two hell-bent on running squirrels came out from the 3 story high pine trees lining the road heading
>
>
>

STRAIGHT TOWARDS US!

Star had just finished checking the latest p-mail at said neighbor's mailbox and went into full doggy "I see a squirrel" mode whereas I was stunned into a complete statue. We probably looked about the same except I have less hair and am taller. With a shorter nose.

May I say that we live in a completely squirrel-balanced neighborhood? That is to say, we have every ethnicity of squirrel in our area. We have the grey squirrel, the brown squirrel, the black squirrel and the half size but three times ferociously nasty red squirrel.

Apparently the grey squirrel heading straight down the muddy dirty road towards me had done something to really upset the black squirrel chasing him. I had NO TIME to take cover or even time to think of a command to yell at Star. I did note she was on FULL ALERT. I also had time to have a major flashback to the time I was attacked in our shed by a red squirrel ...but that's a story best told on another day.

I was SURE they would swerve but AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH, the grey one ran RIGHT BETWEEN MY LEGS brushing my left pant leg as he went, apparently having a greater fear of the black squirrel than of me or Star! The black squirrel, not to be outdone - or outraced apparently - began to swerve and then realized he was losing his prey and ran BETWEEN Star and I.

Star and I turned as one to watch them run into the woods behind us and continue their fight in some unknown (and unsuspecting) tree. "Wow" I said to Star, "that was wierd." She looked at me and I'm sure she agreed. Then I told her what a good dog she was. Heck, she could have had some nice squirrel meat in her mouth but I think something told her those two were Trouble. (Note the capital T).

So that's what was between MY legs last night. What were you thinking? :-)

Theresa

Reading

Dear Readers,

Do you have a passion for reading as well as stitching? Do you sometimes sit in your favorite comfy chair and wonder - stitch or read? Read or stitch? Do you ever base your answer on whether you want a snack or not? (Just wondering!!! Sometimes I do!)

Anyway, in my web wanderings for some book or other, I stumbled across this website and I've used it most frequently in the past month so I thought I should pass it on to you. It's called Swap Your Used Books - PaperBackSwap.com and it's all about swapping books. They DON'T have to be paperbacks. In general, they just have to have an ISBN number.

I am seriously hooked! I have TONS of books. I have more than I can probably read in a year or two but no matter. I still get more from the library, find a new series, get started on a new author and off I go again. I like to haunt used bookstores as much as needlework stores. I LOVE to buy off the bargain shelves at Border's. I will pay full price for a paperback but it KILLS me to buy a hardback at full price. I'm a one time reader so once I read it, I pass it on. I have several friends that swap with me and in fact, I used to have a "leave a book, take a book" shelving unit at the store. Lots of people didn't like my tastes (mystery, thriller) and personally I'm not into romance (ugh!) Well, unless there's some really good x-rated stuff in it. Then I'd just read those pages and skip the mush. Well honestly! Who can believe all that stuff anyway?

So! In this swapping thing, I've found a new way to recycle my books. Hey, I even shipped out Don Quixote. I think I had it from high school. Basically the whole thing is free but you pay to ship your books to somebody else and they pay to ship theirs to you. You get a "credit" for the books you send and you spend your credits on the books you want. Remember, the post office still has media mail so we're not talking a lot of money here. There's also something called Box-O-Books (these people even TALK like me) where you swap a "box" with another reader that you both agree on. To be in that "group" it's a mere $8 a year.

Oh and they also do videos, books on CD/tape, etc. I haven't looked at all that yet. I think there's still only 24 hours in a day. :-)

Halfway to Dead...

Today is my birthday and I'll let you guess how old I am. Try not to be brutal! :-) I love birthdays. Yes, I'm one of THOSE! Birthdays are a celebration of NOT BEING DEAD! Let's face it, you were hardly aware of your actual birthday so what are you really celebrating? BEING ALIVE! YAY, LET'S HEAR IT FOR BEING ALIVE!

Anyway, today, I'm halfway to dead OR I have half a life worth living left. Either way, I'm glad to be here. I sure don't FEEL old. Oh, except like the day after I do too much yard work or something. Then I think "What the heck? When did I get old?" Oh yeah, and those grey hairs. What's THAT about? I think it should all go grey or white at one time. This constant highlighting is driving me nuts, let alone costly. Don't you think you should just wake up one day and look at mirror and go "AHHHHHH!" because your hair turned overnight? That would be fun. All your friends would do a double take. Let alone your husband. Everybody would whisper behind your back "Wow! Did SHE get old or what?" Anyway, LOTS of people have picked on me this week for being old. Here's a nice shot of what halfway to dead can look like...

Thanks SO MUCH to Jennifer for taking this picture with her phone and sending it to me. Who wants to see this one on my website home page? :-)

Here's the April tree. Yes, I'm really stitching, not just ruminating on life and birthdays...

There are white Mother of Pearl stars I have to still sew on the blue area.

I'm really very thrilled that it's still March and I have the April tree stitched. Some kind soul pointed out to me that I hadn't stitched the two rows around the edges of the last 3 trees. What a drag. Who would like to do that for me? :-) I think I will take a little time out and go back to stitching on my Galaxy. A girl deserves a little stitching time on her own project, don't you think? Cheers! Theresa

I'm Back!

Hello Gentle Readers...

Who used to say that? Miss Manners? I think so.

After an extended absence, I'm back. For those of you who don't know, my dad was diagnosed in November with a variety of cancers and passed away on March 13. His funeral was held on March 18 and 19 in Alabama where he was buried near his late girlfriend. Personally I think my dad was too young to go but I had no say in the matter. Rather than send sympathies I asked people to purchase themselves flowers or a plant because my dad loved to look at flowers. So please be sure to treat yourself well. I'm pretty sure we all go 'round only once.

For some reason, I have The Spring Cleaning Fever! You might think this is because it's spring but I'm one of those people that only gets The Fall Cleaning Fever. So today, I'm rushing about the house, taking down curtains and washing them (twice because they still look dirty!), scrubbing floors, dusting things (don't you LOVE Swiffer dusters? - I absolutely HATE to dust, such a waste of time) and making a stab at all things dirty in general. I sat down here for a rest because my back is killing me after all the vacuuming.

I just finished vacuuming Star and I'm not kidding. The poor thing sees the vacuum coming out and she comes running. Since she was a puppy I taught her that the vacuum is NOT to be feared. The vacuum is our friend! Obviously, she took this lesson to heart. She likes to be vacuumed and what person hasn't thought "why not just vacuum the source of all this hair?" DON'T WORRY! I'm terribly careful about her ears, etc. I pretty much just do her back and sides and she seems to think it has something to do with grooming. If I get the vacuum out and DON'T vacuum her I get the doggy evil eye. That is NOT a pretty thing coming from a golden retriever. :-)

That's why I thought she'd be a natural for the Bissell box dog and asked my whole Homestead email list to vote for her one week. I have to tell you only 21 people voted for her and she didn't win. :-( Maybe I should have included a picture of her being vacuumed. To tell you the truth, I don't have a Bissell vacuum, but I do have a Bissell carpet cleaner. I won't use that on her though, it's hot water! :-) Anyway, maybe BISSELL SHOULD READ THIS AND SEND ME A FREE VACUUM TO TRY ON HER! What do you think about that?

I took 3 projects to stitch on in the car while I was gone. Not a lot of stitching got done, I should tell you right up front. I did stitch a little on the April tree which is a red, white and blue number. Lighting in the hotels was pretty poor and for some reason on the road I couldn't concentrate. In fact, I pretty much looked out the window. Spring has begun in parts of Kentucky with daffodils at the side of the road.

Maybe I'm in the cleaning mood because I have a semi-big-ole birthday rearing it's ugly head at me this week. In case you're wondering, I'm halfway to dead. You figure it out, I don't want to mention it. All I know is I keep realizing I haven't done a lot of what I wanted to do in life. So this August I'm going to Yellowstone. That's right! Me and my hubby. ROAD TRIP! If you're really lucky, I'll take the computer and post pictures along on the way.

Okay, that's it for now! Check back another day for more in my exciting life! Theresa